The Blue Cross

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There are times in life when we are at cross-roads of puzzled decision-making. When the going is tough – equally- in each of the paths. We are confused, worried and angry with ourselves. And then we unknowingly get the answer – from a source that we could have never imagined.

Those days we were in distress. Things were as bad as ‘bad’ can be. My grandmother had just passed away, my husband did not have a job, my son was coping up with a new school. And I was mentally traumatised with spiralling cost, home loans and family difficulties. Just then I discovered I was pregnant.

Never! Not at this moment!Β The very feeling that there was going to be an ‘additional burden’ was a repulsive thought….I did not want the child. But somewhere down there – deep within there was also that nagging feeling – a sense of sin and guilt. Every time I touched my tummy there was a shiver at the thought of a growing life….I was angry with myself. At that moment, when my family had just faced bereavement, I could not confide on anyone…..But I was somehow sure that I did not want the child.

It was my grandma’s prayer meeting that day! The meet was to be at our local chapel. It was 3:30 in the evening. I had taken a huge bundle of tube roses to the chapel for decoration. There was no one in the chapel except the pink evening light and the mellow eyes of Mother Mary with Baby Jesus.That moment was special. Just God and I. I did not want to meet eyes. I was too angry and hurt. “Why God, why?”, I questioned her. “If you have pushed me into this trouble, you’ll lead me to a solution”, I blurted. I was too distressed for words. I did not know if I would receive answers for my silent prayer. I prayed on….all the while arranging the flowers. “Just give an answer Lord”, I demanded. Just then I opened the bundle of tube-roses. And out of no where something fell near my feet. I was curious! I picked it up….It was a blue, plastic cross! A cheap, blue, plastic cross! From where it came, how it came I did not know but I had received my answer! It was enough an assurance for me. I decided to get ahead with my pregnancy!

‘Miracles’ are individual perspective – it is purely based on belief .If we believe it is a miracle, it is! For me the ‘blue cross’ is one of the greatest miracles of my life!

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25 thoughts on “The Blue Cross

  1. God has weird ways of marking presence. She has her own ways to tell us, ‘Everything will be fine’. I have been there. I have been through the times when we have no clue as to what would be tomorrow like – Worse or Worst? And in the end, we end up turning out just fine. Miraculously! And I guess, that is the fun about being alive when you know nothing is going right and still, deep down, somewhere, you know it is all going to be just Okey! You don’t know ‘How’ but your know it will be. Loved reading this piece, Sri. This is what I would read again on the bad days. πŸ™‚

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  2. Awww Sri… ❀

    You know, I always asked every one every time about miracle.. 'Do you believe in miracle' is one of my usual question & so many people stared at me with rolling eyes.. And here I got a perfect answer..
    I was in search of someone who believe in miracles like I do.. πŸ™‚

    You are always making goosebumps with your words dear.. I couldn't help myself from hugging you… I wish you were here near me to hug me tighter… I was going through such a tough time & this post is really a sunshine for me.. You are always there on time.. πŸ™‚
    Love you loads and loads…
    So many hugs and kisses… πŸ™‚
    ❀ ❀ ❀

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  3. I was waiting for my interview call when I saw ur notification but then the interviewer came in the room and we started the interview process πŸ™‚ now coming back home lying on bed was this true sign from god that you will go on πŸ™‚ your one post made my day…. πŸ™‚ with this I like to share something when I am in such stressful situations I do write letters to god I don’t know how the idea came up in my mind but this I do since I was 12 πŸ™‚ so when I overcome my problem I go through my letter again to read how it felt then and how is it now πŸ™‚ this made me feel every time that yes someone carry’s me in my tough times πŸ™‚ thank you for sharing such a personal experience πŸ™‚

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    • Wow! You and I are so similar Neerja….I too am used to speaking and writing to God!!! Normally God never hears me out till I hit the wall…and am ready to collapse! Just as I am about to crash, an unknown hand protects me and I am once again convinced about her presence!

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      • πŸ™‚ wow that’s quite amazing πŸ˜‰ seems like two weird people are going to make a perfect pair πŸ˜› and you are so correct about the presence felt πŸ™‚ now I know when he is not answering me then he is carrying me πŸ™‚

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    • I did not reveal about this secret to my family till my daughter was about a few months old. I then showed them the cross and handed it over to my mom. It is still there with her. I’ll ask her to find it and give me so that I can click a picture and show you πŸ™‚ My daughter’s second name is Maria, as a token of my gratitude to Mother Mary! πŸ™‚

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  4. Mary and John faced the same issue. Jesus was unwanted in the beginning because Mary was pregnant even though she was virgin and unwed. But angels came down in their dreams and assured them to go ahead and deliver the baby. And see…Jesus Crist was born. Miracles are bound to cross roads with you when you are true at heart, sincere but in great dilemma. Nice, short and sweet Sri. Kudos again πŸ™‚

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  5. Hi Sri. This is my first time at your blog and reading the posts, especially this one, gives me such a delight. I’m glad, real glad that you decided to go ahead with your pregnancy. May you go round again with much more inner and outer happiness. As of the miracle, I think our life itself is a miracle, a gift from Lord. So yeah, we’re living a miracle every day called Life. Cheers!

    P.S Following up your blog. I’d love if you would go through my blog posts and would be honoured if you decide to shower some love and follow my blog.
    Here’s the link: https://nightsoulwhisperer.wordpress.com/
    Thanks.

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